About the Combination of Harmonizing and Avoiding in Storm Settings

You scored high for both Harmonizing and Avoiding in Storm. This combination has a particular character that you should be aware of.  

Strengths of this combination: Of all the style combinations, this is the lightest and least demanding for others.  The instinct with this combination, when differences arise, is either to be flexible and adapt to the needs of others (Harmonizing), or to be silent or withdraw (Avoiding).  Either way,  people with high scores in these two styles in Storm are not known for being pushy or strident.

They are in fact often greatly appreciated for their flexibility and cooperativeness.   They function particularly well in settings where tasks and roles are clearly defined and the presence of someone gracious, kind, and flexible is required to welcome others, help them find their place, and get oriented, or as part of teams of where their non-confrontive approach can help to balance those who are less gentle in relationships. 
 
Limitations of this combination:  Like all style patterns, this combination has particular limitations as well that you should be aware of. In their purest form, neither Harmonizing nor Avoiding place high priority on task.  Harmonizing prioritizes relationships; Avoiding prioritizes risk reduction.   Both styles are vulnerable to paralysis in the face of challenge or confrontation.  

The danger is that you might fail to push back or speak up in situations where you really should.  The result could be not getting missions done that others are counting on you to perform, failing to protect people you are responsible to protect, or deep personal discouragement or depression in a situation you don't feel able to change.

How to benefit from the strengths and reduce your exposure to the limitations:  

1) Think through inner resistance to conflict that you may feel.  It's good that you don't rush into conflict  but don't take it too far.  Conflict is a part of life.  If you accept this in principle, you will find it easier to allow yourself to get into conflict from time to time when duty or need requires.

2) Use a Two-Step Approach.  You may find it easier to cope with conflict if you do it in stages, so you have time to withdraw and think things through.  Your strong instinct for relationship means that in the fraught space of face-to-face discussion you may find it difficult to think well about what you need; you may thus acquiesce too quickly.  You'll benefit by arranging conversations about difficult issues so  you don't try to expose yourself to marathon talk sessions.  Try to build some time and space into the discussion process so you can ponder things in a calm space between sessions. 

Have some phrases at the ready that help you smoothly negotiate for this.  For example, in the beginning of a conversation you could say, "I've learned that I function best if I approach a conversation like this in two steps.  If you don't mind, I'd like to have a preliminary conversation today, so we can lay out the issues and the concerns we have without trying to resolve it all today.   We can think about it overnight, and then do a second round tomorrow." Or, you could negotiate for the same thing later in a conversation by saying, "I really appreciate being able to start this with you.  I usually need time to think things through and I'd like to wrap it up now, and pick it up again after we've had some time to sleep on this." 

If you propose a time for the second round at the end of the first, your request will seem more credible to others.  In any case, since you requested the delay, make sure you initiate a prompt followup.

3) Know your own preferred Support Strategies. Take a look at the Support Strategies page and study the tabs on Harmonizing and Avoiding.  Those are steps that others can take to make it easier for you to function well.  You can't make other people do that stuff but if the suggestions sound good to you, you can probably figure out some ways to ensure that discussions unfold in ways described there, especially with people close to you. 

4) Be proactive about building a support community.  It's easier to endure difficult conflict if you have a support network of family or friends you can talk to. 

5) Use practices for achieving inner clarity. Achieving inner clarity about what they want and need is a challenge for some people with this style combination.  The preference to keep things calm and stay away from trouble makes it hard even to think in the presence of confrontation, obviously a significant disadvantage.  

You can take special steps to help address this.   The Two-Step approach in #2 above assists this.  But there is more you can do.   Use journalling to help you think through your feelings and your wishes - this is a proven tool that many benefit from.  Make a private list of your goals or needs as you think through a conflict situation.  Find a coach or a good friend who can sit and think things through with you when you face a tough situation.   

6) Work for policy-based and standardized approaches. Encourage and work for as much routine, order, and standardized procedure as possible around you, and seek out environments where these are in place and respected.  When there are policies, principles, clear job descriptions, procedural guidelines, etc., that you can refer to for support or guidance when issues arise, it is easier to talk things through with others.  

Your relational instincts mean that you might be quite good at shepherding people towards creating such and devising routines to apply such policies and practices.  You will be much happier helping to create these, or referring to standardized guidelines, than living with the free-for-all chaos that inevitably arises in settings where they are absent.