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You Scored High in Directing in Storm
This suggests that when stress and tension are high you press ahead with your own agenda and focus on what you feel needs to be said or done. You are not deterred by opposition or quick to make concessions to others.
Benefits of Directing. Wisely used, Directing enables you:
- To assert yourself and be heard, even in difficult circumstances.
- To be decisive and take action in the face of challenge.
- To take a stand on principles or to defend others in need of protection.
- To exercise leadership and authority, to give instructions, set limits, and coordinate. Directing is necessary in some circumstances: A ship's captain, an emergency room doctor, a traffic officer in an intersection, the leader of a youth group on a field trip, or someone under physical threat are examples of people who need to focus on their goals and not be be distracted from them, even if others are upset. A high score in Directing suggests unusual ability to decide, act, take charge, coordinate, do challenging work, protect others, and persist rather than give up or give in when things are difficult.
But Don't Over-use It. Directing has important strengths, but use this forceful style with care. Ignoring the feelings of others is necessary at times, but over-use of Directing will bring:
- Frequent conflict with peers and superiors.
- Damage to relationships important to you.
- Low morale, resentment, discouragement, or depression in others. Those living or working with someone who uses Directing excessively are at risk for depression. They often Avoid or Harmonize in order not to be in constant tension with the Director, but the disappointment and frustration accumulate.
- Bossiness and contentiousness between those who look up to you if your conduct sets the standard for how to behave.
- Reduced access to important information, processes, and perspectives. If others decide it's too difficult to work things out with you, they will reduce communication with you. Your ability to influence and lead may also be reduced.
Take Steps to Maintain Balance with Directing. You can do things to help you experience more benefits of wise use of Directing and fewer costs of overuse:
- Increase your context awareness. Directing is a gift where strong coordination and direction from one person are essential. It's a requirement in part of life, but not all of it. When people expect equality and respectful behavior, which after all is most situations, they resent being on the receiving end of Directing. Recognize this and you will avoid the Achilles Heel of this style. Read the context you are in and adapt accordingly. When in doubt, dial back on Directing instincts - you can ratchet up assertiveness later if required, but relationships may never recover if you come on too strong and cause resentment.
- Expand your skills in other styles and do not rely more than necessary on Directing. In particular, master the skills of the Cooperating style. Like directing, it too is assertive, but it adds relational skills. For example....
- Hone skills in listening well. Being a good listener rarely detracts from the ability to act decisively when necessary and the info gained increases helps you make better decisions. If you are a good listener, others are more likely to experience you as having strength tempered by wisdom rather than as simply pig-headed.
- Work on relationships. Look for opportunities to support, affirm, and appreciate others. Read the section on Support Strategies for each style for specific suggestions on how to support each of the other styles. The Support Strategies for Cooperating, Harmonizing, and Avoiding will be especially useful info for you, for they guide in doing things that many high-scoring Directors never realize others need.
- Be in charge in ways that respect and honor others. This is an art that requires practice. Pay close attention to your tone of voice and body language, for a great deal is communicated by these. Be both strong and supportive towards others.
- Consult with others where possible. Invite their input and incorporate as much as you can into your work. Doing this does not limit your authority to make final decisions. Consulting works better if you refrain from negotiating or persuading as you do it. Focus on listening, learning, and gathering input, about both the issues and about how people are experiencing the discussion process.
Support Strategies for Directors. The most difficult conflicts often come with those close to us, our partners and colleagues. The support strategies below are for a partner who wants to help you function at your best.
With someone like you who prefers Directing as a conflict style, others will get a more favorable response if they:
- Display commitment to task. People who score high in Directing are task-oriented. They appreciate when others are task-oriented too and focus on getting the job done.
- Be action oriented. Directors get frustrated with inaction; they want to make a decision and act.
- Provide information and updates frequently. Directors value information so they know what is going on.
- Speak up. Many Directors function better when others speak up. In appropriate settings, provide information about your views and intentions; don't go silent.
- Show commitment to the discussion process. Directors want to know that things are going to get resolved. Don't walk out or withdraw without explanation. If you need a break from intense conversation, use a two-step approach: 1) Explain that you need a break and will come back at a specific time (in an hour, a day, a week, etc.) to continue the discussion; 2) Return at the agreed time for further conversation. This addresses the Director's need to feel confident the discussion will in fact take place.
- Separate task activities and relationship-building. Do relationship-building in times, places, and ways that don't hinder getting the task done. Then Directors are more likely to join in with enthusiasm.
- Show a positive, problem-solving attitude. Don't just tell a Director there is a problem. Show that you are willing to put initiative into helping solve it. Communicate what you want rather than going on about what you don't want.
If these ideas about supporting you appeal to you, try discussing them with a trustworthy person with whom you live or work. They will almost certainly appreciate suggestions for how to interact with you in times of stress and conflict.